Life journey

I took Christianity as far as it would take me. Suffering has long been a question as I read an entire book on the subject when I was in college or just after college. I remember that I still didn't understand it. 

That feeling of being in the wilderness is a theme of Christianity, especially in this modern world. I feel like that wandering has ended up for me here in Buddhist practice. A place where I don't worry about God, it is just not an important question. If there is a God, it doesn't need to hear from me or need or want constant worship and attention. I'm sure I could find a place where this is said better, but instead of worrying about the questions of life, I want to live what is happening now, rather than having questions so much. It just feels like Christianity has become more about belief and theology, so when it comes to how to live, there are many guesses in various Christian books but the Bible has a confusing mix of some good ideas with lots of recorded things that should not be followed as an example. I have found more answers in Buddhist practice than in all the Christian spiritual disciplines that I have studied.

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From Nothing Special by Charlotte Joko Beck, page 176 - 177

Only when we move through the experiential level does life have meaning. This is what Jews and Christians mean by being with God. Experiencing is out of time: it is not the past, not the future, not even the present in the usual sense. We can't say what it is; we can only be it. In traditional Buddhist terms, such a life is being buddha nature itself. Compassion grows from such roots.

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To do the work of practice, we need endless patience, which also means recognizing when we have no patience. So we need to be patient with our lack of patience: to recognize when we don't want to practice is also part of practice. Our avoidance and resistance are part of the conceptual framework that we're not yet ready to look at. It's okay not to be ready. As we become ready, bit by bit, a space opens up, and we'll be ready to experience a little more, and then a little more. Resistance and practice go hand in hand. We all resist our practice, because we all resist our lives.

The Loner's Search for Community

December 24, 2021

I was thinking lately about how I used to walk to and from school myself. I never was one to join or depend on a group, I guess. I have distinct memories of walking home from high school and being able to stop at the library on the way. I would often just go to the biography section that was all together in the Dewey decimal system of our local library.

This idea of community is something I found briefly in the Jesus movement. I think there was a powerful sense of belonging but gradually I realized I didn't share many of the beliefs and was not interested in following a charismatic leader. When I got to college, the group I thought I was a member of separated themselves from me when they saw that I wasn't buying in to everything. I think at college there was a general sense of community with the small student body though I never thought of myself in those terms it did provide community.

Also remember how much I looked into intentional communities, reading books, magazines and other ways of finding out information before the days of the internet. I had three weeks at Holden village. At the end of that experience I had made arrangements to meet the a family at their farm in West Virginia. While I was there I continued to seek out a future intentional community and may have visited some. I think my next adventure was a long summer job in construction in Illinois. I had access to college bookstores when I traveled while working and I probably picked up some on intentional communities. Somehow I found out about movement for a new society and spent 2 years there. I think how I would have benefited with a little bit more of a mentoring relationship, with someone talking to me about what I was doing and where I was going. Eventually my main community ended up being a Christian church that my spouse attended for most of her life. Now I figure I'll be there for the rest of my life but would like to find a Sangha for extra support and learning and fellowship.

I have been given this existence, to accept what has come into my lifetime - Jane Hirshfield Dec 19, 2021

The Bowl by Jane Hirshfield

If meat is put into the bowl, meat is eaten.

If rice is put into the bowl, it may be cooked.

If a shoe is put into the bowl,

the leather is chewed and chewed over,

a sentence that cannot be taken in or forgotten.

A day, if a day could feel, must feel like a bowl.

Wars, loves, trucks, betrayals, kindness,

it eats them.

Then the next day comes, spotless and hungry.

The bowl cannot be thrown away.

It cannot be broken.

It is calm, uneclipsable, rindless,

and, big though it seems, fits exactly in two human hands.

Hands with ten fingers,

fifty-four bones,

capacities strange to us almost past measure.

Scented—as the curve of the bowl is—

with cardamom, star anise, long pepper, cinnamon, hyssop.

—2014

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Interview: On Being by Christa Tippet

The esteemed poet Jane Hirshfield has been a Zen monk and a visiting artist among neuroscientists.

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I have been given this existence, these years on this Earth, to accept what has come into my lifetime — wars, loves, trucks, betrayals, kindness. I must take them. I must find a way to live in this world. You can’t refuse it. And along with the difficult is the radiant, the beautiful, the intimacy with which each one of us enters the life of all of us and figures out, what is our conversation? What is my responsibility? What must be suffered? What can be changed? How can I meet this in a way which both lets me open my eyes the next day and also, perhaps, if I’m lucky, can be of service?

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So there’s an example poem in there, which I love. It’s by the Japanese poet Issa. And he says, “On a branch / floating downriver / a cricket, singing.” And that is both, I think, you know, a portrait of something probably actually seen, but it is also a portrait of our entire existence. This is our situation. We are probably in peril. We’re on a branch in the middle of a river. It’s not a good place for a cricket to be, especially if there are some rapids ahead. And yet, what does the cricket do? It sings, because that is its nature, because that is what it has to offer, because it delights in this moment in the sun, because it is on a branch and not yet drowned. And so I feel like our entire lives are in, you know, that haiku, 17 syllables in the Japanese.

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Within the worldview of Buddhism, both are true: there is suffering, and it is our job to try to end it; and the perfection of things as they are is already here around us. We cannot escape from perfection, we cannot escape from suffering, most of the time. And they are not separate. How we feel them is the weather of this moment and the spiritual tenor of who we are at this moment in our lives.

But I hope there is no human being who has not had one moment, at least, when they stood in the world, undone by awe and radiance, and the small self vanishes, and you understand the world as immense and yours, and not yours.

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Differences between Buddhism and Christianity in Biography online

Both religions stress ethical living, compassion/love to other people.

Both taught to overcome the forces of hate through the power of love. The Buddha ‘hatred cannot be overcome by hatred.’ The Christ ‘Love your enemy’

Like Buddhism, Christianity also encourages followers to take steps to improve their well being. 

Both religions encourage their followers to be charitable towards the poor.

Both Jesus Christ and the Buddha sought to reform existing social/religious practises which had denigrated into ritualistic forms with no spiritual meaning. Christ criticised the money lenders in the temple. Buddha criticised the caste system and hypocrisy of the Brahmins.

Both were egalitarians. Buddha accepted all castes into his sangha. Christ taught his philosophy was not just for a small race.

Shared values. The Five Precepts of Buddhism (abstention from killing, lying, stealing, sexual immorality) would be welcomed by most Christians.

Buddhism and Christianity were both founded by great Spiritual Masters who sought to offer a path to salvation. The terminology they used was often quite different. Also, given the different circumstances they incarnated in, they taught different paths and emphasised different approaches to spirituality.

Neither the Buddha or Jesus Christ wrote down their own teachings. In both cases, their teachings were written down many years after they had left the world. This gap between their teaching and the written version means there is always a potential for error and misunderstanding of their teachings. Also, as the new religions developed they evolved in different ways.

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Comparing and Contrasting Zen Buddhism

with Christianity © 2015 by Saint Mary’s Press

Koans and Parables

In Zen Buddhism, koans are short sayings that are intended to derail our ordinary ways of thinking about things in order to enable us to see things radically differently. Some of Jesus’ parables share a similar intention. Jesus sets up a situation that his hearers would tend to assume would resolve in a certain way, and then he resolves it in a way that surprises and perhaps even offends the everyday sensibilities of his hearers. One good example is the Parable of the Good Samaritan (Luke 10:25–37). In the culture of those who heard this parable from Jesus’ lips, the Samaritan was despised and ostracized. In the parable, he is the one who does the will of God, the one who acts with compassion, the one who emerges as a decent human being willing to take risks in order to help another person. The parable invites Jesus’ hearers to rethink their usual ways of looking at Samaritans and at who does the will of God. 

There is also a contrast between koans and parables in that the intent of the koan is to frustrate thinking in order to facilitate the direct experience of truth. The parable, however, hopes to revise our thinking along lines consistent with Jesus’ message about the nature of the Kingdom of God.

Life after Death

Zen Buddhism is very much focused on this world, this life, and the here and now of every day. It neither affirms nor denies the existence of life after death. Christianity, on the other hand, strongly affirms the existence of life after death and the importance of preparing for eternal life in this world.

Seeing the World in a New Light

Zen Buddhism invites and enables its practitioners to see the world in a new light. The “new light” of Zen is the direct experience of the everyday world, unmediated by thinking, concepts, and opinions.

Christianity also invites its followers to experience the world in a new light. For Christians, the “new light” is seeing the world as God’s creation and daily life as significant because it is how God’s

purposes are fulfilled in the world. Jesus invites Christians to see everyday reality in light of the coming Kingdom of God.

Zazen and Prayer

Zazen, or sitting meditation, is the primary form of religious activity for Zen Buddhists. Prayer occupies a place of importance for Christians as well, including corporate worship and the celebration of the Sacraments (especially for Catholic and Eastern Orthodox Christians). Zazen has been described as sitting quietly and doing nothing other than just being. Although Christianity also has a tradition of meditation and contemplation, prayer for most Christians tends to be more active in the sense that it often involves verbal prayer as well as listening for the urgings of the Divine.

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"If meat is put into the bowl, meat is eaten." "I have been given this existence, these years on this Earth, to accept what has come into my lifetime..." As I have more and more understanding of the Zen Buddhist worldview and seek to practice the way, I am not abandoning my Christianity. I am sure this would also be the advice of a Buddhist master. While there may be opportunities for retreats and maybe even a small Sangha, I will be in a Christian environment for rest of my life. I list some similarities that I found on online above because in most situations the differences will not be an issue. Probably only an astute, well informed, spiritual leader would actually perceive at some point that I have a different worldview then mainstream Christianity. I just don't think it will come up most of the time. As I've mentioned elsewhere, my experience of teaching Sunday school has shown me that most Christians are heretics in the sense that they don't understand or adhere to the belief system that theologians have so carefully developed. In the church, I have been in the presence of deeply spiritual people that can't easily find their way around the books of the Bible or accurately tell the stories that are found there. I guess I'm working it out here in my own head though it may never come up. I also don't feel it would be helpful to my friends who have their own struggles. There are other ways I can help, and as Jane Hirshfield says, "and also, perhaps, if I’m lucky, can be of service..."

The Paradox of Awareness

Are the tension and pain real? Something is there, but what is it? One night recently I was walking along the ocean with the moonlight shining on the water. I could see a shimmer of light on the ocean, but was the moonlight really there? Did the ocean really have anything on it? What is that color? Is it real or not? Neither is quite correct. For my perspective, the moonlight was on the water. But if I had been closer to the surface, I wouldn't see any moonlight on the water. I would just see whatever I would see at that point. There is no such thing as moonlight literally on the water. As for clouds in the sky: if we are in a cloud, we call it fog. We likewise give a kind of false reality to our thoughts. It's true that we always live within a certain perspective. Practice is about learning to live in that relative reality, and enjoying it, but seeing it for what it is. Like the moonlight on the water, it's there - from a certain relative perspective - and it's not real, it's not the absolute. Even the water itself has only relative reality. When there is no light on the water, we see the water as black. I have had dinner at a restaurant by the ocean and watched the water turn from blue to dark blue to darker purple, and finally it can't be seen at all. What is real? In absolute terms, none of it is real. In terms of our practice, however, we must begin with our experience, with this meticulous work with awareness. We need to return to the reality of our lives. We have pains and aches, we have troubles, we like people or we don't like them: this is the stuff of our lives. This is where our work with awareness begins.

The Paradox of Awareness page 156 - 7 Nothing Special by Charlotte Joko Beck

Solitude: Krista Tippett and Stephen Batchelor

"To be alone, to be at home in ourselves, is something we're all drawn to and yet terrified of." Finding ease in aloneness: Krista Tippett interviewing Stephen Batchelor in On Being

I remember in college when I took an interdisciplinary class called Man, Men, and Nature, I was uncomfortable with the thought of keeping a journal that the instructor would read. When I think about it, it's kind of odd that I could write anything I wanted so where is this uncomfortable feeling coming from? Somehow the journaling tool, that might possibly reveal an inner life, was scary.

 

Stephen talks about opening up a non-reactive space where we can respond to the world, and respond to our own needs as well, that's not driven by familiar habits that are often rooted in fear, attachment, and egotistical confusions. We empty our minds of greed, hatred, and attachment; We don't empty our mind of love,  generosity, and wisdom. When greed, hatred and attachment crowd our minds, we don't have room for anything else that could conceive of an alternate response.

Rahab: A Prostitute or an Innkeeper?

Rahab: A Prostitute or an Innkeeper?

Claude Mariottini

Emeritus Professor of Old Testament

Northern Baptist Seminary

Based on Josephus’ view that Rahab was an innkeeper, one author came to the conclusion that Rahab was a successful business woman and that the word “harlot” was used as a pejorative because of her success. He wrote:

It is our considered opinion, based upon what we have read in the Bible and in the Writings of Josephus that Rahab made fine clothing (the reason for all the flax that she had on her roof, enough to hide the two spies in). Her customers, often having to travel long distances to purchase her fine linen needed to be put up. Rahab also ran a [sic] inn, and she often put her clients up in her inn. Why did people of that time label a successful business woman “a harlot?” Maybe her business did better than their business.

The reason Josephus was trying to play down the fact that Rahab was a prostitute was because of the role she played in Jewish history. According to the Babylonian Talmud, Rahab was one of the ancestresses of the prophet Jeremiah.

Atheist?

I don't consider myself an atheist and I find It odd to be described by something you don't have rather than what one does have. I do consider myself a very spiritual person but I'm just not very big on the God concept. That also includes that Jesus did not die for my sins. Beyond that I think there's lots to talk about in spirituality but I was just thinking, if I had to summarize it, this kind of clears the air. I have listened to Christian testimonies my entire life. I finally feel like I could give one but it would point more to Buddhist practice than orthodox Christian beliefs.

Spirituality

I often think about how I seem to be happier with my spirituality than I ever have been. I consider myself a Christian and have weekly fellowship as I attend the worship service. Even the name worship service is a bit of a problem though because more and more I see us praising God and assigning all these attributes to this figure. I also think that most people's theology probably comes from the hymns which in many ways are questionable are on the edge of the beliefs that the church ascribes to.

It was interesting This Sunday as our pastor prefers to use kin-dom to kingdom. This was the first time in a year that she really went into a specific reservation like this as it was Christ the King Sunday. She mentioned how King is not a term that we are familiar with, is not friendly or approachable, and has the markings of patriarchy. So for her the word has complicated baggage in feeling like it's bringing injustice to the world. The language is one of submission so it is not productive or caring and just feels wrong. She said it's okay to grow and learn and wrestle with a concept. It was a common term in biblical days and there was a contrast of Jesus who washed feet and ate with sinners. He forgave and practiced radical compassion. She said pastoral candidates are asked "How do you interpret Jesus is Lord. The correct answer is "He rules, I submit."

I am much farther out from standard Christian teachings but I reserve the right to define my own interpretation of Jesus. I think in the past I always thought that it was odd when people did that and that they should stick to the the teachings of their particular denomination. I couldn't understand how they could still be attending that particular church but now I am outside the mainstream and continue to attend. I am comfortable with my decision. If I started attending a Buddhist congregation on a weekly basis, I suppose that could change. Right now it is once a month and I sometimes am unable to attend.

"The Buddhist wisdom of selflessness is the unique character of Buddhism. This subtle understanding of our ego (egolessness), and the nature of reality in general, attract many educated people throughout the world. This subtle philosophy of life embedded in an ethic of happiness draws more and more non-Buddhists to the Buddhist way of life. Most non-Buddhists continue to follow their own religion inherited from their families. Yet many adopt a variety of Buddhist approaches to solving some of life’s more difficult challenges." 

"Following in the Footsteps of the Buddha" by Dr Barry Kerzin from One Dharma – Many Buddhist Traditions

Dogen’s 4 Key Teachings

Dogen’s 4 Key Teachings by Lion's Roar

Cultural Christian

I think a lot about my relationship to Christianity as I become more and more devoted to Zen Buddhist practice and thought. Today I kind of realized that I've decided in my spiritual journey to be a cultural Christian. I will remain in the church with my family and continue in my leadership positions. In the church I have been able to help people in their spiritual journey and have an ability to answer questions. I see no reason to give up that role as it does not conflict but rather is part of Zen Buddhist practice in which as an ordinary human being like everyone else, I vow to live aiming at the well-being of everyone, as the direction of my own life. 

I rejected a long time ago the notion that Christianity involves choosing either to follow Christ or to remain in the “evil world” or “paganism.” I think I have become quite the student of the Bible and am very comfortable having a Bible study focused on the biblical text and the context in which they were written. I have led quite a few Bible studies. I have also studied various authors on the spiritual path for a long time but have never found one that stuck are worked for me. I think that also helps me In being able to discuss their spiritual journey with people. I have previously said the parts of Christianity I like the best are Buddhist.

Most non-Buddhists continue to follow their own religion inherited from their families. Yet many adopt a variety of Buddhist approaches to solving some of life’s more difficult challenges." 

"Following in the Footsteps of the Buddha" by Dr Barry Kerzin from One Dharma – Many Buddhist Traditions

Dropping Through The Momentaryness of Experience

Falling with no bottom as we fully participate in life. Uncertainess, randomness, purposelessness. Futile to try to build your house upon the rock: find your wisdom and insecurity: become one with the transient nature of life. Observer sees that it's not very skillful or wise and then grows from that experience. Observer - Participant: we are not one or the other.

The Observer - Participant, Geoff Dawson, The Ordinary Mind School of Sydney

I do feel a peacefulness at this stage in my life. Feel I am building peace within myself so it can manifest around me. 

Practicing being fully present in every moment of my daily life. My body, my feelings, my perceptions. Mindfulness is the energy to be there for what is going on. Through breathing, walking, eating, etc. (Thich Nhat Hanh)

Commandments vs Koan

Jesus answered, “If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me.” Matthew 19:21

What can you get rid of to make room for people and relationships.

Justice

For the psychologically mature person, the ills and injustices of life are handled by counter aggression, and which one makes an effort to eliminate the injustice and create justice. Often such efforts are dictatorial, full of anger and self-righteousness. 

In spiritual maturity, the opposite of injustice is not justice, but compassion. Not me against you, not me straightening out the present hill, fighting to gain adjust result for myself and others, but compassion, a life that goes against nothing and fulfills everything.

Always our practice must be the basis for actions. An appropriate and compassionate response does not come from a fight for justice, but from that radical dimension of practice that "passeth is all under standing." It's not easy. Perhaps we go through agonized weeks or months of sitting. But the resolution will come. No person can provide this resolution for us, it can be provided only by our true self if we open wide the gates of practice.

Justice pages 53 to 54, Nothing Special by Charlotte Joko Beck

Spiritual Journey

I'm thinking a lot about my spiritual journey lately. I think about how I've chosen it and made many choices but in many ways have been casual and not disciplined. I think about how what I remember about our parents sending us to church without going themselves. I remember my mom saying what a positive experience she had with a Lutheran pastor and she was having difficulties and so that's why they sent us to the local Lutheran Church. I remember being inspired and going down for prayer at a Billy Graham rally. It was a group trip with the church and I remember people wondered where I was and I thought it should have been so obvious. I remember being at camp and waiting for God to speak to me. I think about my involvement in the Jesus Movement and how now I feel like I'm capturing some of the original teachings of Jesus but I remember how that's what they thought also. During my college years, I found scholars (in person and through books) strengthening my faith. Unlike now, I still thought that there was "Truth" out there that some folks had and I wanted to find or understand. Now I've come to understand as Bishop Spong says, "The Bishop of Rome turned the power of his location in that capital city of the known world into the ability to define Christianity and to limit the understanding of the past to his particular interpretation of the past." Since Christianity passed through that narrow funnel, I feel I can still call myself Christian without agreeing with the bishop of Rome's particular understanding and interpretation. 

Practicing alone

There's a practice of maintaining awareness; in that sense, Zen practice exists. But so long as is we're alive, there's the question of awareness. We can't avoid it. In that sense, there's no way to avoid practice, or even to do it. It's just being alive. Though there are certain formal activities that assist us in waking up (which we call Zen practice if we want), real Zen practice is just being here right now and not any adding anything to this.

In a sense, Zen is a religious practice. Religion really means to rejoin that which seems to be separate. Zen practice helps us to do that. But it's not a religion in the sense that there's something outside of ourselves that's going to take care of us. A lot of people who practice and have no formal religious affiliation. I have nothing against formal religion; it all religions there are some remarkable people who truly practice and know what they're doing. But there are also people who have no connection with formal religion whatsoever, yet who practiced just as well. In the end there is no practice except what we're doing each second.

It is more difficult to practice alone, but it's not impossible. It's useful to come to a Zen Center to get a foundation, then maintain some contact long distance and come to sit with others when one can. When one practices alone, it's like swimming against the current. In a community of persons practicing together, we have a mutual language and common understanding of what practice is.

The Promise That is Never Kept page 51 to 52, Nothing Special by Charlotte Joko Beck

Practice in Routines

Geoff Dawson, the Ordinary Mind School of Sydney, in his talk called Zen Temple Lockdown, mentions how the routine in a Zen temple assists in the practice. "We are all holding on to something. This is an opportunity to see what it is more clearly so we can let go of it. When we let go of it, we let go of the separate self and embrace the joy of uncertainty. So The zen teaching is, embrace the uncertainty but at the same time it's important to create in our own environment a structure and a routine place. There's nothing like the simple joy that comes from having task completion. . It's important that we get those going. The difference is between a sense of satisfaction as we go through each day and a sense of completion I sense of being scattered and fragmented."  I wrote how I recently started making my bed and that routine has felt like part of my Zen practice. In this talk he also mentions how Alan Watts (also here) influenced him towards Zen and give some quotes from him. The suggestion to create in our own environment a structure and a routine place is being helpful.

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But when it comes to finding ways to help people deal with issues surrounding birth and death, morality and meaning, grief and loss, it would be strange if thousands of years of religious thought didn’t have something to offer.

 How God Works: The Science Behind the Benefits of Religion, by David DeSteno

It's not mainly about belief for me as I find Buddhist practice and precepts to be very helpful in dealing with life. I think I always looked for this in Christianity and only found it in the Buddhist-like disciplines. Constantine's Nicene Creed just doesn't do much for me as it leaves out the living Jesus. I'm glad Christianity works for so many people and I don't want to take anything away from that. There seems to be a big emphasis in Christianity in the reading of the Bible to find consistency in history as described and the theology that is promulgated. This consistency was the main desire of Constantine, the ruler of an empire. It made sense for a religion of an empire. So we end up with a lot of commandments and history to guide us. Much of the continuum was lost though we have glimpses through the findings at Qumran and Nag Hammadi. Spiritual teaching almost seems to be an afterthought but I think of the faithful and monastics that have made up for this including in the modern age. Hence the interest in Buddhism by many Christians including myself. I think I've seen the best and the worst of what the religion of empire does in faithful people. This was Laity Sunday at church and I was very impressed by the testimony of the lay speaker. I also heard and encouraged the telling of so many faith stories when I was the Bible study leader at our church. Just in conversation, I am so impressed with the strength that their Christian faith gives to so many people. From the crusades to culture-destroying evangelism, we also have many examples of the worst. This made me think about how the sermons I have given which are much more about concepts than about my personal journey. It's funny I know so much about bible but forget important life details of friends.

Anger and Transformation

When truly experienced, anger is very quiet. It has a certain dignity. There's no display, no acting out. When we truly stay with anger, then the personal and self-centered thoughts separate out and we're left with pure energy, which can be used in a compassionate way That's the whole story of practice A person who can do this with great consistency is a person we call enlightened. A truly enlightened person is one who can transform the energy nearly all the time. It's not that the energy no longer arises; the question is, what do we do with it? Most of us prolong the reaction and enlarge upon it. When the personal element - how I feel about the person - is removed, then there is just energy. When we sit with it with great dignity with this energy, though it is painful at first, it turns into a place of great rest. "Those who would molest me cannot find me here." [Bach]] Why can't they find me here? Because there is no one home. There is no one here. When I am pure energy, I am no longer me. I am a functioning for good. That transformation is why we're sitting. It's not easy. It doesn't happen overnight. But if we sit well, over time we become less and less engaged in interpersonal mischief, harming ourselves and others. Sitting burns up the self-centered element and leaves us with the energy of our emotions, without the destructiveness. Sesshins, regular sitting, and life practice are the best ways to bring about this transformation. Bit by bit there is a shift in our energy... As our self-centered preoccupations drop away, we can't go back to the way we were. A fundamental transformation has taken place. There is a real peace when we rest within that fundamental contraction, just experiencing the body as it is.

The Baseboard, pages 37-38, Nothing Special by Charlotte Joco Beck

Practice is not about having life feel good

Most of us imagine that the enlightened state will feel much better than pushing a rock! Have you ever awakened in the morning and muttered, "I don't even want to think about all the things I have to do today"? But life is as it is. And our practice is not about having life feel good, even though that's a very human hope. We all like things that make us feel good. We especially like partners who make us feel good. If our partner doesn't make us feel good, we assume that things have to be changed, that he or she needs to change! Because we are human we think that feeling good is the aim of life. But if we simply push our current boulder and practice being aware of what goes on with us as we push, we slowly transform.

Sisyphus and the Burden of Life page 19 Nothing Special by Charlotte Joko Beck

... the benefits to ourselves are incidental. The real point of practice is to serve life as fully and fruitfully as we can. . .

. . In other words, the center of our life is shifting from a preoccupation with ourselves to life itself. Life includes us, of course; we haven't been eliminated in the second viewpoint. But we're no longer the center. Practice is about moving from the first to the second viewpoint.

The Talk Nobody Wants to Hear page 59

Adapting ancient practices and early Christianity

September 7, 2021

In some ways, Buddhist practice seems like a natural to me. I feel like I've been on the path my entire life. I'm not rejecting Christianity, I just have a very different perspective than either mainline Christianity or Fundamentalism on Jesus and the way of life he encouraged us to live. So many of today's fundamentalist pastors seem to have given up on Jesus and the Bible and gone totally political, making friends with the empire. I feel my Buddhist practice is closer to following Jesus than these crazy folks and the congregations they mislead. I joke to myself that the parts of Christianity I like the best are Buddhist. It seems to me that Christian writers that I am attracted to have adopted Buddhist practices. I don't want to be mean but it seems that modern Christianity is grasping at ways to stay relevant and actually help people in this modern life. It seems like Buddhism is able to reach back and adapt ancient practices to the modern day in a systematic way. I think that is how Charlotte Joko Beck has been described. 

Christian theology spends a lot of time trying to harmonize the conflicting views found in the various books of the Bible. Out of that mishmash it tries to come up with a way to be relevant in modern life. I think it's much simpler in that Jesus wanted us to follow "The Way." He wasn't much into theology or even a sacrificial death in the way it's presented today. What went wrong? Jesus was human at his death. The belief that God raised him up (exalted) eventually evolved into divinity. The first writings hint at this transformation from Jesus to Christ. The rich diversity of Christian beliefs was squelched when Christianity became part of the empire in the third century. Constantine wanted a unified belief system and the First Council of Nicaea came up with the Nicene Creed which doesn't mention the life that Jesus encouraged people to live. According to Wikipedia, "Its main accomplishments were settlement of the Christological issue of the divine nature of God the Son and his relationship to God the Father, the construction of the first part of the Nicene Creed, mandating uniform observance of the date of Easter, and promulgation of early canon law." Theologically, it became necessary to invent a triune God. The Nag Hammadi library is a group of books discovered near Nag Hammadi, Egypt, in December 1945. Scholars speculate that the works were buried in response to a letter from Bishop Athanasius declaring a strict canon of Christian scripture as he ordered all the heretical documents destroyed even though a group found them valuable. These documents include gospels that were banned by early church leaders, who declared them blasphemous.

It is clear before there were any writings, there were various groups who were followers of Jesus. By the time the narrative of Jesus was set down, it had become 12 male disciples, just like the 12 tribes. This ignored the extensive involvement of women which we only get glimpses of in the gospels.

So we have a collection of writings that we call the Bible. We have the writings of early Christian theologians that nobody but other theologians (and I guess some pastors) read. And then we have a large body of hymns which are of questionable theology and life direction. They picked up on martyrdom and the blood of Jesus washing us clean, two crazy ideas. Besides the anti-semetic and sexist problems that developed in Christianity, there is an emphasis on belief and mystery.

The Diversity of Early Christianity - Frontline PBS

The Christian movement probably began not from a single center but from many different centers where different groups of disciples of Jesus gathered and tried to make sense of what they had experienced with him and what had happened to him at the end of his public ministry. Each of those groups probably had a very different take on what the significance of Jesus was.

Elaine Pagels writes in The Gnostic Gospels about who had "seen the risen Lord." "Luke says that they heard that the Lord has risen indeed, and has appeared to Simon Peter. What had he said to Peter? Luke's account suggested to Christians in later generations that he named Peter as his successor, delegating the leadership to him." pages 7-8 ... 

The doctrine of bodily resurrection also serves an essential political function: it legitimizes the authority of certain men who claim to exercise exclusive leadership over the churches as the successors of the apostle Peter. From the second century, the doctrine has served to validate the apostolic succession of bishops, the basis of papal authority to this day. Gnostic Christians who interpret resurrection in other ways have a lesser claim to authority: when they claim priority over the orthodox, they are denounced as heretics.

Such political and religious authority developed in a most remarkable way. As we have noted, diverse forms of Christianity flourished in the earlier years of the Christian movement. Hundreds of rival teachers all claim to teach the "true doctrine of Christ" and denounced one another as frauds. Christians in churches scattered from Asia Minor to Greece, Jerusalem, and Rome split into factions, arguing over church leadership. All claim to represent "the authentic tradition." pages 6-7 

According to Wikipedia, "Bart D. Ehrman attributes the rapid spread of Christianity to five factors: (1) the promise of salvation and eternal life for everyone was an attractive alternative to Roman religions; (2) stories of miracles and healings purportedly showed that the one Christian God was more powerful than the many Roman gods; (3) Christianity began as a grassroots movement providing hope of a better future in the next life for the lower classes; (4) Christianity took worshipers away from other religions since converts were expected to give up the worship of other gods, unusual in antiquity where worship of many gods was common; (5) in the Roman world, converting one person often meant converting the whole household—if the head of the household was converted, he decided the religion of his wife, children and slaves."

The crucial difference between fixing and transforming

But it is very hard, if not impossible, to convey with the words the difference between a life that is fixed and one that is transformed. For one thing, there is a blazing physicality in Zen practice that is obvious only within the silence and struggle of zazen. In experiencing without thoughts the bodily tension of emotion, the conditioned self or shell begins to weaken, and the possibility of the satisfying life we all want - the transformed life - begins to be born. A Zen teacher will make it clear to the student when she is not staying with reality, with what's happening right now, but is instead persisting in trying to find a solution based on self-centered, blaming thinking. 

Zen practice can be difficult, frustrating, and slow, but after a time (usually a long time) the student will notice that her emotional reactivity is decreasing and that the ability to act clearly and insanely is increasing. Self-centeredness diminishes, as does being judgmental. Relationships are more intimate and more satisfying. Compassion appears more frequently and is effortless. 

But this practice is a lifetime work and is never done. It is a process of experiencing again and again each thing that enters her life, moment by moment.

Ordinary Mind by Barry Magid, Forward by Charlotte Joko Beck page x

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It is the explicit acknowledgment and working through of the emotional difficulties of practice that have been the hallmark of Joko Beck's distinctive brand of Zen. Her way of practicing and teaching were borne directly out of the failure of so many of the first generation of Japanese and American teachers here in the United States to adequately deal with their own emotional conflicts, transference reactions, substance abuse, and sexual behavior despite having completed traditional Zen training.

Ordinary Mind by Barry Magid Introduction page 11

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I have arrived in the present moment

I am feeling like I have arrived in the present moment. Reading my entry from April 12, 2006, I see how I was beginning to consciously look at my spiritual journey. Of course, I am riffing on Thich Nhat Hanh: 

I have arrived. I am home.

In the here. In the now.

I am solid. I am free.

In the ultimate I dwell.

Reading "The Way of Zen" by Alan Watts, I was getting intimations of what seems much clearer now. I use the word "enthralled" to describe when I heard him speak at college in the 70's. I like my explanation, I feel like I have come full circle in some ways or maybe I never left. In the preface, he says "the various wisdoms of the West, do not offer much guidance to the art of living in the modern world where familiar concepts have dissolved and we find ourselves adrift." I have rediscovered my interest in eastern thought and practice. Recently I have come face to face with my lack of interest in the Christian story of salvation. I love Jesus and what he did and said but don't care much for the structured system of theology that climbed to the top of the heap from early Christian beliefs.

I think a lot about how to describe how I view Christianity and that is a pretty good summary from 2006. I don't want to offend my many friends who are Christian and even pastors by sharing this. I still feel I can support people at church spiritually without having to kick out the bucket that they are standing on. I do feel between two worlds but I am surprised at how clearly I see the truth of Zen Buddhism. In the past weeks, I have extensively quoted from Opening the Hand of Thought. I do feel like I am getting guidance to the art of living.

A body and a social identity

Zen explains that we all have a body and a social identity. But we don't have a core, in other words, the ego, when attachment, aversion, and apathy rules our life. Notice the very moment we grasp at something (or aversion, apathethic) and get off the wheel. The traditions are cultural variations all recognize that way of untying the knot. Enjoy the experience of momenteness. Status is the tough ones to see through. 

The Ordinary Mind Zen School Sydney podcast Dharma talks given by Geoff Dawson

I copied this from another journal as it reminds me of this recent entry.

Disciplines

Over the years, I have tried to practice spiritual disciplines and have been attracted to authors that teach how practice is central to Christianity as a spiritual path. Many Christian authors have nourished me even as I have moved away from mainstream Christianity. Lately I have seen to be influenced by the disciplines of living everyday life as encouraged by Zen Buddhism. I've never seen much value in making my bed but now it seems like a good act to straighten up a place where I spend so much time to be ready for the day. This also comes from teachers explaining how we don't wash the dishes in order to clean the dishes. What's more we are not alive during the time we are washing the dishes.  I also want all my activities to be zazen as described in this entry; "What is true zazen? When you become you! When you are you then no matter what you do, that is zazen." 

I love the simplicity in Buddhism of just beginning again. When your mind wanders, just begin again. Christianity seems laborious with repentance and confession. It just seemed so simple, just begin again.

Repentance

Even though in our zazen our activity is carried on together with the whole earth and all beings, there is no way we can carry out perfect action like a buddha. To think that we have achieved perfect action is simply to be arrogant. For thinking in such a way is, after all, nothing more than our own human judgment. In our zazen, precisely because we have taken such a vow, we cannot help but repent of our inability to fulfill it.

To truly repent does not mean offering an apology; rather, repenting requires facing life straight on, and letting the light of absolute reality illuminate us. What does it mean to be illuminated by absolute reality? The Samantabhadra Bodhisattva Dhyana Sutra says, "If you wish to repent, sit zazen and contemplate the true nature of all things." In other words it is in doing zazen that true repentance is actualized.

Chapter 8 - The Wayseeker: Section - Seven Points of Practice, page 115-116, Opening the Hand of Thought by Zosho Uchiyama

The original self that is manifest when we let go of thought

But the more we practice opening the hand of thought, the clear it becomes to us that "self" is not the same as "thought." We come to see decisively that the true self is not something made up in our heads. True self is the self of everything, the self of the whole dharma world, the original self that is manifest when we let go of thought. In other words, if we practice for a long time, there will be some result. Even if we said only for a short time, that is all right, there is no question that we become aware of reality in our city. Beginners' zazen and zazen after ten years of practice are not two different things.

Chapter 8 - The Wayseeker: Section - Seven Points of Practice, page , Opening the Hand of Thought by Zosho Uchiyama

The relationship between personal self and universal self

So we can conclude that the human condition involves existing in the midst of this relationship between personal self and universal self. 

In our life as personal self, universal self is not something to yearn for, it is the direction towards which we should aim. This is the meaning of "vow." The first of the four bodhisattva vows is "Sentient beings are innumerable, I vow to save them all." This means to settle as universal life wherever that life naturally settles. The second vow is "Cravings are exhaustible, I vow to extinguish them all." This means refraining from being dragged around by one's thoughts. But as long as we are human beings, we're going to have a mind that fabricates illusions, and so we have to continuously study the boddhadharma to clarify the reality of our self. This is the meaning of the third vow, "Dharma teachings are limitless, I vow to learn them all." The fourth vow is "The Buddha Way is endless, I vow to complete it." With this, we vow to settle as the universal self.

Chapter 8 - The Wayseeker: Section - Seven Points of Practice, page 156, Opening the Hand of Thought by Zosho Uchiyama

Buddhism is essentially a teaching about liberation - from suffering, ignorance, selfishness and continued rebirth. ... Buddhism, Knowledge and Liberation assesses the common Buddhist idea that knowledge of the three characteristics of existence (impermanence, not-self and suffering) is the key to liberation.

Buddhism, Knowledge and Liberation: A Philosophical Study By David Burton

Death, Life's Ephemeral Nature, and Motivation for Practice

Where do we go after death? Nowhere. Life is universal. When we're born, we come from this universal life. We are all, without exception, universal. Only our brains get caught up in the notion that we are individual. We're universal whether we think so are not and reality doesn't care what we think. 

As long as we are living, we eat cabbage and rice, bread and wine. Our bodies are collections of such stuff. Superficially, it seems that our bodies are separate from the rest of the world. But as a matter of fact, our bodies continuously radiate heat and moisture and absorb nutrients and light. Everything is coming and going with remarkable freedom. We are really universal. Where are we going after death? Back to universal life. That's why the Japanese refer to the recently deceased as "one who has returned to the origin." This universal life is the original self.

Chapter 8 - The Wayseeker: Section - Seven Points of Practice, page 156, Opening the Hand of Thought by Zosho Uchiyama

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We are rather like whirlpools in the river of life. In flowing forward, a river or stream may hit rocks, branches, or irregularities in the ground, causing whirlpools to spring up spontaneously here and there. Water entering one whirlpool quickly passes through and rejoins the river, eventually joining another whirlpool and moving on. Though for short periods it seems to be distinguishable as a separate event, the water in the whirlpools is just the river itself. The stability of a whirlpool is only temporary. The energy of the river of life forms living things - a human being, a cat or dog, trees and plants - then what held the whirlpool in place is itself altered, and the whirlpool is swept away, reentering the larger flow. The energy that was a particular whirlpool fades out and the water passes on, perhaps to be caught again and turned for a moment into another whirlpool.

We'd rather not think of ourselves in this way, however. We don't want to see ourselves as simply a temporary formation, a whirlpool in the river of life. The fact is, we take form for a while, then when conditions are appropriate, we fade out. There's nothing wrong with fading out; it's a natural part of the process. However we want to think that this little whirlpool that that we are isn't part of the stream. We want to see ourselves as permanent and stable. Our whole energy goes into trying to protect our supposed separateness. To protect the separateness, we set up artificial, fixed boundaries; as a consequence, we accumulate excess baggage, stuff that slips into our whirlpool and can't flow out again. So things clog up our whirlpool and the process gets messy. The stream needs to flow naturally and freely. If our particular whirlpool is all bogged down, we also impair the energy of the stream itself. It can't go anywhere. Neighboring whirlpools may get less water because of our frantic holding on. What we can best do for ourselves and for life is to keep the water in our whirlpool rushing and clear so that is just flowing in and flowing out. When it gets all clogged up, we create create troubles - mental physical, spiritual.

Whirlpools and Stagnant Waters pages 3 - 4 Nothing Special by Charlotte Joko Beck

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But when you face into it and you clearly recognize the ephemeral nature of life, that's where your real source of motivation comes from. Look into it everyday of your life. What [Dogen] says are false kinds of motivations for practicing is to do with some kind of self gain. I'm going to achieve some special experience, I'm going to be blissed out. That's a gaining of something that's missing which he thinks is a false motivation. But if you want to find the source of that motivation, it's there every moment of our life, look into that ephemeral nature.

Because the horizon (death) is so close, every moment is precious.

The Heart Sutra tells us over and over again, there's nothing to gain. But when we live like that, when we think life is having to tick the box for all these exciting, wonderful experiences we're going to have. You're kind of living in the future and you've ticked it off and you're ready for the next one, life is not really savored when we live it that way. It is life that has no bucket list... Because you're living moment to moment in the preciousness of life. You're not waiting to achieve something in the future that's going to make you happy. You're here with time. A lot of our happiness and a lot of our well-being in life is to do with our relationship to time. It's always in the background humming away there but it's never in the forefront of our mind. And as Dogen reminds us in some of his other writings, We are time. What most of us think of is we're passing through time, we have a relationship with time. Dogen reminds us, I think quite clearly, we are time. We are passing away. Things are passing away. Rapidly. Everyone knows that but the essence of practice is to have a radical acceptance of that fact.

Because you're not trying to gain something, you're open to what each moment unfolds for you in life. 

Arousing the Desire for Practice, Geoff Dawson, Ordinary Mind Zen School (My transcription)

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As human beings we see life by means of a certain sensory apparatus and because people and objects seem external to us, we experience much misery. Our misery stems from the misconception that we are separate. Certainly it looks as though I am separate from other people and from all else in the phenomenal world. This misconception that we're separate creates all the difficulties of human life. 

As long as we think we're separate, we're going to suffer. If we feel separate we're going to feel that we have to defend ourselves, that we have to try to be happy, that we have to find something in the world around us that's going to make us happy. 

Now the truth of the matter is that we're not separate. We are all expressions or emanations of a central point - call it multi-dimensional energy. We can't picture this; the central point energy has no size, no space, no time. I'm speaking metaphorically about what can't really be spoken of in ordinary terms.

Can anything hurt us? page 75 Nothing Special by Charlotte Joko Beck

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Soothing Our Hungry Ghost by Mitchell Ratner, of the StillWater Mindfulness Practice Center, discusses Thich Nhat Hanh's The Five Touchings of the Earth and Kosho Uchiyama: This Life is One With Everything

from Opening the Hand of Thought : Approach to Zen

Buddhadharma

Shitou Xiquian was asked by one of his disciples, "What is the essential meaning of buddhadharma?"

Shitou replied, "No gaining, no knowing."

Daowu asked again, "Can you say anything further?"

Shitou answered, "The expansive sky does not obstruct the floating white clouds." 

The wide expanse of the sky does not obstruct the passing clouds. It lets them float freely. I think these words from the koan fully express the meaning of buddhadharma.

In other words, it means to be free from the ideas we make up in our head. I call this opening the hand of thought. When we think of something, we grasp it with our minds. If we open the hand of thought, it drops away.

The koan describes what zazen is quite well. What on earth is Buddhadharma,? Fundamentally, it is just opening the hand of thought. And to practice opening the hand of thought concretely with the body and mind is zazen. So buddhadharma means "what awareness is," are perhaps "way of awareness."

When we let go of our thoughts and become vividly aware, all the illusions that create desire, anger, and group stupidity vanish immediately.

Chapter 8 - The Wayseeker: Section - Seven Points of Practice, page 140-143, Opening the Hand of Thought by Zosho Uchiyama.

Let go of our thoughts that distinguish better from worse

Imagine there's no Heaven

It's easy if you try

No Hell below us

Above us only sky

Imagine all the people

Livin' for today

Imagine

Song by John Lennon

What a vast, boundless life unfolds before us! Ordinarily, we spend all our time comparing and discriminating between this and that, always looking around for something good to happen to us. Because of that, we become restless and anxious about everything. As long as we are able to imagine something better than what we have or who we are, it follows naturally that there could be also something worse.

When we let go of our thoughts that distinguish better from worse and instead see everything in terms of the universal self, we are able to settle upon a different attitude towards life - the attitude of magnanimous mind that whatever happens, we are living our self alone. Here a truly peaceful life unfolds.

Whatever happens in our lives can be accepted, since we are universal self in all circumstances. You may imagine that this will leave you completely directionless, but this is not the case, since such a self is not devoid of scenery. Self as the reality of life unfolds the rich quality of life: the scenery of the self, the circumstances of the present. Both past and present exist as the richly textured scenery of the present.

These quotes are from Chapter 7 - Living Wide Awake: Section - The Direction of the Universal, page 131-133, Opening the Hand of Thought by Zosho Uchiyama. I found this chapter very inspiring and could have continued quoting till the end of the chapter. A good one to reread.

Culture wars

“What is certainly true,” Dominic Sandbrook says, “is there are moments in history when disputes about history, identity, symbols, images and so on loom very large. Think about so much of 17th-century politics, for example, when people would die over the wording of a prayer book.” The same applies, he believes, to any number of periods, including the arrival of the permissive society in the 1960s, in which there is an attempt to establish new mores. (Along with his fellow historian Tom Holland, Sandbrook co-presents a podcast, The Rest Is History, which recently looked at the history of culture wars.)

Certainly if we look at America, where the modern incarnation of the culture wars was first identified, the conflicts over abortion and gay marriage have been fought, at least by one side, from an explicitly religious perspective. The US sociologist James Davison Hunter gave popular currency to the term in his seminal 1991 book Culture Wars: The Struggle to Define America.

Everything you wanted to know about the culture wars – but were afraid to ask by Andrew Anthony, The Guardian

The Bodhisattva Vow

A person who discovers the direction of his life in zazen, who vows and at the same time lives by repentance through zazen, is called a bodhisattva. This means that a bodhisattva is an ordinary person who has found her direction in buddha, and practicing the way of the life of a buddha.

Our actions are dictated by our karma: we are born into this world with our desires and may live our whole lives just reacting or responding to them.

Ordinary people live thinking only about their own personal, narrow circumstances connected with their desires. In contrast to that a bodhisattva, though undeniably still an ordinary human being like everyone else, lives aiming at the well-being of everyone, as the direction of his or her own life. For us as bodhisattva all aspects of life, including the fate of humanity itself, live within us. It is with this in mind that we work to discover and manifest the most vital and alive posture we can find for living out our life.

To practice Buddhism means to confront and live out the reality of your life, so if some unwarranted criticism comes along, your practice is to live it out by not getting all in a lather over it.

Chapter 7 - Living Wide Awake: Section - The Bodhisattva Vow, page 125, Opening the Hand of Thought by Zosho Uchiyama

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The Bodhisattva’s Path Jack Kornfield

To take such a vow is to set a direction, a sacred purpose, a statement of wisdom, an offering, a blessing. “We are not separate, we are interdependent,” declared the Buddha. Without understanding this, we are split between caring for ourselves or caring for the troubles of the world. When the world is seen with the eyes of a bodhisattva, there is no I and other—there is just us.

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See also: The relationship between personal self and universal self

How an intense spiritual retreat might change your brain

How an intense spiritual retreat might change your brain. by Andrew Newberg, director of research at the Marcus Institute of Integrative Health and a physician at Jefferson University Hospital in Philadelphia.

We have found that five elements seem to be common across many enlightenment experiences, whether they occur during spiritual retreats, daily meditation or prayer practices, psychedelic experiences, or even spontaneously. Enlightenment experiences are commonly considered to be the most intense experiences that a person has ever had. During the experience, the person feels a profound sense of connectedness with the rest of humanity, God or the Universe. The sense of clarity helps them to feel as if they have gained new insights into themselves and how they are to act within the world. Most people describe enlightenment experiences as happening to them rather than as something that they made happen. Various aspects of one’s life can feel changed by the experience, including mental health, physical health, sense of meaning and purpose in life, sense of spirituality and sense of religiousness. The data from our studies suggest that many spiritual practices and retreats can be beneficial for people by changing the brain and improving various psychological and spiritual measures.

The One Thing Christians Should Stop Saying

The One Thing Christians Should Stop Saying by theaccidentalmissionary

"Definitely feeling blessed"

First, when I say that my material fortune is the result of God’s blessing, it reduces The Almighty to some sort of sky-bound, wish-granting fairy who spends his days randomly bestowing cars and cash upon his followers.

Second, and more importantly, calling myself blessed because of material good fortune is just plain wrong. For starters, it can be offensive to the hundreds of millions of Christians in the world who live on less than $10 per day.

Nowhere in scripture are we promised worldly ease in return for our pledge of faith.

The truth is, I have no idea why I was born where I was or why I have the opportunity I have. It’s beyond comprehension.

My blessing is this. I know a God who gives hope to the hopeless. I know a God who loves the unlovable. I know a God who comforts the sorrowful. And I know a God who has planted this same power within me. Within all of us.

And for this blessing, may our response always be,

“Use me.”

Writers note: Since I had this conversation, my new response is simply, “I’m grateful.” 

Well said. Very similar to "There but for the grace of God go I" See this.

Prayer and living by zazen (Zazen and Christianity) August, 2021

The book has a delightful list of Bible verses such as Psalm 46:10 Be still and know that I am God. "Zazen certainly actualizes this in the purest way." Luke 17: 20 - 21 The kingdom of God comes not from observation: Neither shall they say, Lo here! or Lo there! For, behold, the kingdom of God is within you.

For Matthew 6:5-7, he writes, "There is no purer way of expressing this attitude toward prayer than zazen."

Chapter 7 - Living Wide Awake: Section - Zazen as Religion, page 111-112, Opening the Hand of Thought by Zosho Uchiyama

I found the Chapter 7 - Living Wide Awake: Section - Vow and Repentance, (page 112) to be very helpful in highlighting some of the similarities and differences with Christianity. Here are a few quotes:

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Doing zazen is letting go of clinging to human thought, and this means letting go, or throwing out, human arrogance. With that we become, as the Bible says, "as God wills," and then "the works of God will be manifest" (John 9:3).

Living by zazen as religion is found in our functioning day-to-day as a person, a role that is itself the personified union of this moment and eternity. Living everyday by surrendering to zazen, being protected and guided by zazen, means to live having a direction - that is, living without being pulled around by the thoughts and emotions rampaging inside us. This means to live aiming at enacting the unity of the present and the eternal. 

Taking as reality what precedes division, we will not conjure up objects of desire, opponents, competitors, and so on. As long as we are walking in this direction we will not labor under the burdens of greed, impatience, and envy; we will not go around cheating, deceiving, wounding, and killing one another. Rather, as true self that is only true self, we possess absolute peace within us at the same time, since we are aiming at manifesting the vigorous self that is here and now, and is simultaneously one with eternity, we need to make a ceasing effort.

In other words, for the person who sits zazen, vow is nothing other than the practitioner's own life. We take all encounters - with things, situations, people, society - as nothing but our own life, and we act with a spirit of looking after everything as our own life. Therefore, like the mother's caring for her child, we aim to function unconditionally and tirelessly and, moreover, to do so without expecting any reward.

It is not to profit personally or to become famous that we take good care of things, devote ourselves to our work, love those whom we encounter, or demonstrate our concern for social problems. When I take care of my own life, I take care of the world as my own life. I do this moment by moment, and each situation I enable the flower of my life to bloom, working solely that the light of buddha may shine.

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I was just thinking yesterday, before I read this section of this chapter of how I used to think "Well, Christianity is an organized way of living ones life that is followed by millions of people." With my limited knowledge of Buddhism, I only knew American Zen as a fringe group with ideas that were very hard to understand and comprehend. Yesterday, I realized these views have reversed. I see mainstream Christianity has a confusing mishmash of "mysteries" that are difficult to explain. While theologians have written endless volumes, I don't think the average Christian understands or believes most of this. In fact, I would wager that most Christians hold heretical beliefs that the church over the years has fought wars over. I mean this for the individual Christians within each of the denominations that are divided also over the true faith. As a teacher of Sunday School, I particularly noticed the lack of depth in theology while these people have a deep faith that really impressed me. So the benefits of the faith did not come from having the true tenets of the faith but from a deep faith that comes out of the human spirit.

It's strange also that theology is about Jesus rather than being what Jesus taught. Original sin, Triune God; That's not what Jesus talked about. The apostle Paul developed a lot of the theology along with the extensive gospel of John that puts so many words in the mouth of a crazy, verbose Jesus. 

Like 4:16-21 Then [Jesus] came to Nazareth where he had been brought up and, according to his custom, went to the synagogue on the Sabbath day. He stood up to read the scriptures and the book of the prophet Isaiah was handed to him. He opened the book and found the place where these words are written—‘The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he has anointed me to preach the Gospel to the poor. He has sent me to heal the brokenhearted, to preach deliverance to the captives and recovery of sight to the blind, to set at liberty those who are oppressed, to preach the acceptable year of the Lord’. Then he shut the book, handed it back to the attendant and resumed his seat. Every eye in the synagogue was fixed upon him and he began to tell them, “This very day this scripture has been fulfilled, while you were listening to it!”

See this blog sentry also. And this one. Another.

Peace of mind

"Since Buddhism is a religion that does not raise the question of god, what is its basis for peace of mind? In contrast to a posture of bowing down before the God of Christianity or some god of another religion, the fundamental posture of Buddhism is the true self settling on the true self. This fundamental posture is to settle upon our undeniable, immovable self without being dragged about by our unstable thoughts."

Chapter 6 - The World of Self Unfolds: Section - Self Settling on Itself page 93 Opening the Hand of Thought by Zosho Uchiyama

We try to please and protect the entity called Self

Dynamic stream of consciousness that experiences moment after moment. Accumulation of that experience makes our personal history. That is why we can say there's a person, a continuum of experience that is different from someone else's continuum of experience so it is legitimate to distinguish two streams of experience as to persons. We also have the instant feeling of I when I say "I am hungry", "I am thirsty" or when we awake in the morning, I exist, I am awake. This is a very momentary experience of being there yet we believe there's a enity that remains throughout this experience. Unitary, autonomous. No localization within our mind, it is just a concept. A label that we attach, and that's okay. This stream of consciousness can be called by my name. River is constantly changing but there is a continuity that allows us to call it by name. Bit there's no such entity as the Mississippi that's popping up and saying, I am the Mississippi.

Rough quotes from listening to Happiness: A Guide to Developing Life's Most Important Skill by Matthieu Ricard

"We all have eyes to see, but if we close them and say that the world is in darkness, how can we say that we are living out the true reality of life? If we open our eyes we see the sun is shining brilliantly. In the same way, when we live open-eyed and awake to life, we discover that we are living in the rigorous light of life. All the ideas of our small self are clouds that make the light of the universal self foggy and dull. Doing zazen, we let go of these ideas and open our eyes to the clarity of the vital life of universal self."

Chapter 5 - Zazen and the True Self: Section - The Activity of the Reality of Life, page 83 Opening the Hand of Thought by Zosho Uchiyama

The following are a few quotes from Chapter 6 - The World of Self Unfolds: Section - Interdependence and the Middle Way, page 97 Opening the Hand of Thought by Zosho Uchiyama. This section has helped me understand  Happiness: A Guide to Developing Life's Most Important Skill by Matthieu Ricard. I have listen to it many times. Reading this section that explains the same thing in a different way has really helped my understanding of no self.

To look more deeply into the Buddhist notion of life, we have to take up the teachings of interdependence and the Middle Way. Buddhist teachings explain self as life, and they explain the vivid world self lives in as interdependence, or the Middle Way.

The view that all things exist is one extreme; the view that nothing exists is the other extreme. Being apart from these two extremes, the Tathagata teaches the dharma of the Middle Way: because this exists, that exists; because this arises, that arises. ... Accordingly, what is being said here is that there are no independent substantial entities-that is, no things exist by themselves.

Usually we think of our "self" as an individual independent substance, an enduring existence. ... Not only the appearance of the body, but the inside as well, is gradually being regenerated and transformed; so what does not appear in photographs is also undergoing change. Moreover, the content of my thoughts, which I refer to as I, has also been radically changing, from infancy to childhood, adolescent, maturity, and now in old age. Not just that - even this present I is an unceasing stream of consciousness. Yet, taking momentarily at a given time, we grasp the stream of consciousness as a fixed thing and call it I.

We are as selves quite like the flame of a candle. As wax melts near a lit wick and burns it emits light near the tip of the candle that appears as a more-or-less fixed shape. It is the seemingly unchanging shape that we refer to as flame. What we call I is similar to the flame. Although both body and mind are an unceasing flow, since they preserve what seems to be a constant form we refer to them as I. Actually there is no I existing as some substantial thing; there is only the ceaseless flow. This is true not only of me, it is true of all things. In Buddhism, this truth is expressed as shogyō mujō, the first undeniable reality, that all things are flowing and changing, and shogyō muja, the third undeniable reality, that all things are insubstantial.

Impermanence is ungraspable, but this never implies non-existence. We live within the flow of impermanence, maintaining a temporary form similar to an eddy in the flow of a river. Though the water is always flowing, the eddy, like the flame of the candle, arises out of various conditions as a form that seems to be fixed. That there is this seemingly fixed form that is based on various conditions is interdependence.

Great Vows For All

Great Vows For All

The many beings are numberless

I vow to end their suffering.

Greed hatred and ignorance rise endlessly

I vow to abandon them.

Dharmas are countless

I vow to wake to them.

Buddha’s way is beyond attainment

I vow to embody it fully.

The Four Brahmaviharas

The four brahmaviharas are:

Loving-kindness (Pali: metta)

Compassion (karuna)

Sympathetic joy (mudita)

Equanimity (upekkha).

The late Buddhist teacher Ayya Khema described the brahmaviharas as “the only emotions worth having.” By cultivating the four immeasurables, you not only develop limitless love but undo what the Buddha called their “near enemies”: indifference, pity, envy, and jealousy.

What Are the Four Brahmaviharas?

Lion's Roar Staff

The Scenery of Life

If we lead this sort of life and sit zazen, at whatever age, there is no doubt that we will come to have a commanding view of who we are. When we live this way, not only zazen, but daily life itself, is such that we cannot find the value of our existence in what other people say or in things that we want. It is a life that is unbearable unless we discover the value of our existence within ourself. 

What is essential is for us to live out the reality of our true self, whether we are doing one period of Zazen, a five-day sesshin, or practicing for ten years or more.

The Scenery of Life

page 73-74 Opening the Hand of Thought by Zosho Uchiyama

Before Time and "I" Effort

When we transcend time, or forget time, we actually meet the fresh reality of life. Time exists for us because we compare one moment with another, and in the welter of perception we feel time flowing swiftly. When we no longer compare, and just be that self which is nothing but self, then we are able to transcend this swiftness or comparison that we call time. Those who continue sitting sesshin no longer recall time.

Before Time and "I" Effort

page 65-66 Opening the Hand of Thought by Zosho Uchiyama

Fear is part of the journey.

Contemplation

Fear is part of the journey.

Fear is happening everywhere

The ground has always been shaky

No one is coming to save you: Pema Chödrön

Pema Chödrön: "Personally, I work with aspiration. The classic aspiration is “Sentient beings are numberless. I vow to save them.” That means that I aspire to end suffering for all creatures, but at the same time I stay with the immediacy of the situation I’m in. I give up both the hope that something is going to change and the fear that it isn’t. We may long to end suffering but somehow it paralyzes us if we’re too goal-oriented. Do you see the balance there? It’s like the teaching that Don Juan gave to Carlos Castaneda, where he says that you do everything with your whole heart, as if nothing else matters. You do it impeccably and with your whole heart, but all the while knowing that it actually doesn’t matter at all."

What are the Five Hindrances?

These are the Five Hindrances as classically presented: sensual desire, ill will, sloth and drowsiness, restlessness and anxiety, and uncertainty.

Practicing with the Five Hindrances

Looking at the fresh and vivid reality of life with our own eyes

One time I went to a place in the country, I could see from a distance a thick forest on the side of the mountain and I was able to make out the roof of a large temple hidden among the trees. I asked a local villager about it, and he told me that this temple used to be much larger, but it burned down and the present building was put up on a much smaller scale. Guided by the villager, I climbed up a long stone stairway. When I finally reached the top and had a look around, the temple, far from being small, was a magnificent structure that didn't seem to have been built at all recently. I began to wonder but what my guide had said, and I asked him just when the temple had burned down. He told me it happened during the Kamakura period in the thirteenth century! I burst out laughing, because his aggrieved tone of voice had implied that the temple had burned down recently, certainly during his lifetime. These villagers handed down to each successive generation a sense of personal loss about something that had happened hundreds of years before. Living near this handsome imposing temple, they didn't really enjoy it because they were busy lamenting it wasn't some other way.

On second thought, a thing that happened seven hundred years ago as undoubtedly a recent event for many people. Most religions encourage believers to "remember" events written in their holy books, events that may have happened thousands of years ago, and to act as if these things happen to them personally. On the basis of these "memories" they wage wars and kill each other in masse. This is not limited to mythological or sectarian religions, either. It is exactly the same among all the many doctrines and ways of thought. Instead of looking at the fresh and vivid reality of life with their own eyes, people end up stifling that reality in the name of justice, or peace, or some fixed dogma.

page 37-38 Opening the Hand of Thought by Zosho Uchiyama

"Whole," "true," or "universal" self

Our whole self is the force or quality of life that enables conscious thought to arise, and it includes that personal, conscious self, but it also includes the force that functions beyond any conscious thought. The whole or universal self is the force that functions to make the heart continue beating and the lungs continue breathing, and it is also the source of what is referred to as the subconscious. 

This inclusive self is at heart the creative power of life. It is related to what the Judeo-Christian tradition calls the creative power of God. That power - what is immediately alive and also what is created - that is self too. If you want to use God as your referent, it is crucial to receive God as a pure creative power, as being fresh and alive and working in and through yourself: no matter what I do or think, God is in all things and is working through me.

Whatever is alive - that is jiko, or universal self. All of this - thoughts and feelings, desires, the subconscious and the beating heart, the effort that enables other lives to function and the creative power of life itself - is what I mean by the self. Saying "whole" or "true" or "universal" self is a way to try to include all the actual reality of life and what I am saying here is that the actual reality of life is not something separate from the actual reality of your own life.

page 29 Opening the hand of Thought by Zosho Uchiyama

Zen Mysticism

The mystical side of Zen is not something supernatural. The mystical side is a sense of intimacy with life as it is. Intimacy with nature. He intimacy with joy. The intimacy with sorrow. The intimacy of relationships, of being fully human. It brings out that warmth, connection, and closeness to life. One of the things it's important to look at as a Zen practitioner is how we may distort reality. From a Buddhist Dharma point of view we distort our reality grasping onto things, avoiding things, and being ignorant of the way things are.

If our life is based on what is truly there, we are more likely to make wise decisions based on that.

Dogen Mystical Realism: The Ordinary Mind Zen School Sydney podcast: Dharma talks given by Geoff Dawson.

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When we let go of our conceptions, there is no other possible reality then what is right now; In that sense, what is right now and here is absolute, it's undeniable. Not only that, this undeniable reality is at the same time the reality of life that is fundamentally connected to everything in the universe. This is the undeniable reality. The truth to be derived from this is that right now is all important. 

Dwelling here and now in this reality, letting go of all accidental things that arise in our minds, is what I mean by " opening the hand of thought. "

When we think of "now" in the ordinary sense, we assume that there was a linear flow of time from the past into the present and forward into the future. Actually, it isn't that way at all. Actually, all that there really is, is now as the scenery of the present, however, there is a past, present, and future. Let me say that again: within the present, there is a past, a present, and a future. The past and the future are real and alive only in the present. This concept of time in the Buddhist thought is very important.

page 12 Opening the Hand of Thought by Zosho Uchiyama

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"When we live from pure awareness, we are not affected by our past, our present, are our future."

"Practice is about developing our uncovering a simple mind. For example, I often hear people complain that they feel overwhelmed by their lives. To be overwhelmed is to be caught by all the objects, the thoughts, the events of life, and to be affected emotionally by them, so that we feel angry and upset. When we feel like that, we may do and say things that hurt ourselves or other people. Unlike the simple mind of pure awareness, we are confused by the multiplicity of the external environment. Then we can't see that everything external is us."

"Within this simplicity, this awareness, we understand past, present, and future, and we begin to be less affected by the barrage of experiences. We can live our life with appreciation and some compassion."

"The longer we sit, the more we have periods -  at first brief, and then longer - when we sense that we don't need to be opposed to others, even when they are difficult. Instead of seeing them as problems, we begin to enjoy their foibles, without having to fix them. For example, we can enjoy the fact that they're too silent, or that they talk too much, or they put on too much makeup. To enjoy the world without judgment is what a realized life is like. It takes years and years and years of practice. Even then, I don't mean that every problem can be experienced without reaction; still, a shift occurs, and we move away from a purely reactive life, and which everything that happens can trigger our favorite defense. 

A simple mind is not mysterious. In a simple mind, awareness just is. It's open, transparent. There's nothing complicated about it. For most of us most of the time, however, it is largely unavailable. But the more we have contact with a simple mind, the more we sense that everything is ourselves, and the more we feel responsibility for everything. When we sense our connectedness, we have to act differently."

"When we maintain awareness, whether we know it or not, healing is taking place. If we practice long enough we begin to sense the truth: we come to understand that the now embraces the past and future and the present. When we can sit with a simple mind, not being caught by our own thoughts, something slowly dawns, and a door that has been shut begins to open. For that to occur, we have to work with our anger, our upset, our judgments, our self-pity, our ideas that the past determines the present. As for the door opens, we see that the present is absolute and that, in a sense, the whole universe begins right now, in every second. And the healing of life is in that second of simple awareness."

Simple Mind page 255 - 257 Nothing Special by Charlotte Joko Beck

Undeniable realities and Zazen

The first undeniable is that every living thing dies, and the second undeniable reality is that we suffer throughout our lives because we don't understand death. The truth derived from these two points is the importance of clarifying the matter of birth and death. The third undeniable reality is that all the thoughts and feelings that arise in my head simply arise haphazardly, by chance. And the conclusion we can derive from that is not to hold on to all that comes up in our head. That is what we are doing when we sit zazen. 

What we call "I" or "ego" arises by chance or accident, so we just let go instead of grasping thoughts and "I." When we let go of all our notions about things, everything becomes really true. This is the fourth undeniable reality, complete tranquility, ... It is also described as " all things as they really are, " ...  Therefore, when we let go of everything, we do not create artificial attachments and connections. Everything is as it is. Everything exists in one accidental way or another. This is the present reality of life. It is the reality of that which cannot be grasped, the reality about which nothing can be said. This very ungraspability is what is absolutely real about things. Things being just as they are is also known as the suchness of things (tathata in Sanskrit).

 pages11-12 Opening the Hand of Thought by Zosho Uchiyama

What is Zen Buddhism?

Zen Buddhism is a mixture of Indian Mahayana Buddhism and Taoism. It began in China, spread to Korea and Japan, and became very popular in the West from the mid 20th century.

The essence of Zen is attempting to understand the meaning of life directly, without being misled by logical thought or language.

Zen techniques are compatible with other faiths and are often used, for example, by Christians seeking a mystical understanding of their faith. BBC 2002

Zen is the Japanese name for a Buddhist tradition practiced by millions of people across the world. When Buddhism came to China from India some 2,000 years ago, it encountered Daoism and Confucianism, absorbing some elements of both while rejecting others. Chan is the tradition that emerged. In this context, Chan refers to the quality of mind cultivated through sitting meditation, known as zazen in Japanese, which many Zen Buddhists consider to be the tradition’s most important practice. 

Zen is as diverse as its practitioners, but common features include an emphasis on simplicity and the teachings of nonduality and nonconceptual understanding. Nonduality is sometimes described as “not one not two,” meaning that things are neither entirely unified nor are they entirely distinct from one another. Zen recognizes, for example, that the body and mind are interconnected: they are neither the same nor completely separate. Nonconceptual understanding refers to insight into “things as they are” that cannot be expressed in words.

Like all schools of Buddhism, Zen begins with an understanding that human beings suffer, and it offers a solution to this suffering through recognizing the interconnectedness of all beings and learning to live in a way that aligns with this truth.

What is Zen Buddhism? Tricycle magazine

What will all this effort do for you? Everything and nothing. You will become a Zen student, devoted to your ongoing practice, to kindness and peacefulness, and to the ongoing endless effort to understand the meaning of time, the meaning of your existence, the reason why you were born and will die. You will still have plenty of challenges in your life, you will still feel emotion, possibly more now than ever, but the emotion will be sweet, even if it is grief or sadness. Many things, good and bad, happen in a lifetime, but you won’t mind. You will see your life and your death as a gift, a possibility. This is the essential point of Zen Buddhism.

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Through the centuries, India, the first Buddhist country, gradually spawned hundreds of sects and sub-sects, and thousands of scriptures, and tens of thousands of commentaries on those scriptures. When Buddhism spread over Central Asian trade routes to China, all this material came at once. The Chinese had long cherished their own twin traditions of Confucianism and Taoism and were resistant to ideologies introduced by barbarians from beyond the borders of the “Middle Kingdom.”

Gradually, Indian and Central Asian Buddhism began to be reshaped by its encounter with Chinese culture. This reshaping eventually led to the creation of Zen, an entirely new school of Buddhism, which eventually became by far the most successful school of Buddhism in China, Korea, Japan and Vietnam.

Zen Buddhism has had a long and varied history in several different Far Eastern cultures. Each culture has produced a tradition that is recognizable as Zen, but differs slightly from all the others. Vietnamese Zen is the one most influenced by the Theravada tradition. In China, Zen eventually became the only Buddhist school, inclusive of all the others, so contemporary Ch’an includes many faith-based Mahayana practices that existed initially in other Buddhist schools, ... Especially stylized, dramatic, and austere, Korean Zen includes prostration practice (repeated, energetic full-to-the-floor bows of veneration) and intensive chanting practice, and has a hermit tradition, something virtually unknown in Japanese Zen.

A Zen wave broke on North American shores in the middle of the twentieth century. It probably didn’t begin as a Zen wave at all, but rather as a reflex to the unprecedented violence the first part of the century had seen. In the early 1950’s, D.T. Suzuki, the great Japanese Zen scholar and practitioner, arrived at Columbia University in New York to teach about Zen.

What Is Zen Buddhism and How Do You Practice It? Norman Fischer, Lion's Roar