The Lord's Prayer

O cosmic Birther of all radiance and vibration.
Soften the ground of our being and carve out a space within us where your Presence can abide.
Fill us with your creativity so that we may be empowered to bear the fruit of your mission.
Let each of our actions bear fruit in accordance with our desire.
Endow us with the wisdom to produce and share what each being needs to grow and flourish.
Untie the tangled threads of destiny that bind us, as we release others from the entanglement of past mistakes.
Do not let us be seduced by that which would divert us from our true purpose, but illuminate the opportunities of the present moment.
For you are the ground and the fruitful vision, the birth, power and fulfillment, as all is gathered and made whole once again.
(The Nazarene Way of Essenic Studies ~ The Lord's Prayer ~ Translations from Aramaic, Origins and History of The Lord's Prayer).

I wandered into an interesting area today that I want to note here and explore further. I got to this fascinating prayer by clicking on a link in my blog to Westar Institute, Home of the Jesus Seminar, Dedicated to the advancement of religious literacy.  Eventually I found Rex A E Hunt's (Director, The Centre for Progressive Religious Thought, Canberra) May 2007 piece, THE ‘JESUS PRAYER’, JESUS NEVER PRAYED! I found this prayer in this article and used his footnote to find his source. As I arrived on the page, I hear a beautiful voice, saying Lord's prayer in Aramaic! Wow!

I have to mention that our church used a study during our stewardship campaign this year that had a prayer that ridiculed using lofty phrases to pray (or something like that). As I thought of using this prayer in church, I thought it might be taken the same way. I find it very beautiful and full of meaning.

New Language

I am slowly learning a new way of speaking about Jesus and the bible. I don't want to throw the baby (pun) out with the bath water. Marcus Borg, Bishop Spong, Bart Erman have helped me find the words to describe the reality of my faith. Thomas Sheehan has an interesting book, The First Coming: How the Kingdom of God Became Christianity (1986--electronic edition 2000) where he explains,

Catholic scholars now teach that the Gospels are not accurate "histories" of Jesus but religious testimonies produced by the second and third generations of Christians, whose faith that Jesus was their savior colored their memory of his days on earth. Thus, even though all Catholic biblical scholars believe that Jesus is God, they do not necessarily maintain that Jesus himself thought he was the divine Son of God, who had existed from all eternity as the Second Person of the Trinity.

I heard an interview with him on a Stanford University podcast and found his book online. I also found his 2006 audio course on iTunes on the Historical Jesus; I made a CD and listened to it several times during my commute. He is a little embarrassed that the host site, The Secular Web that is owned and operated by Internet Infidels Inc., who describe themselves as a nonprofit educational organization dedicated to promoting and defending a naturalistic worldview defined "the hypothesis that the natural world is a closed system, which means that nothing that is not a part of the natural world affects it."

The fact that I had to go to this kind of website demonstrates how hard it is to talk about our faith without being seen as one against belief in God. In my years in the Jesus movement (1969 to 73), I had a vague understanding that a theologian was someone who tried to destroy our faith in Jesus. LOL

Happy

The contented feeling that I understand my place in the world grows more and more sure. Maybe that way of saying is too grandiose and misleading but there is a confidence that I feel now that I have been searching for my whole life. Someone might say that I would have figured it out sooner if I had tried harder but I see myself as a quiet, thoughtful seeker. Although I may be pondering big issues, I have not usually shown that outwardly or even commented on it to others.

I am seriously looking into Buddhist thought by listening to podcasts, reading pieces on the internet or the printed page, attending some part or full-day retreats, and trying to develop a regular meditation practice. As I listen and read these Buddhist sources, I find myself agreeing with their approach to life. I just took a look at my last post, The Big View, that says something very similar to what I am writing here. I have been struggling for words today but I said it well in that post, "I have always listened to speakers with a feeling that an understanding of truth was just out of my reach."

I don't want to sound over-confident like I have everything figured out but as I said "The contented feeling that I understand my place in the world grows more and more sure."  What actually prompted this post was the Terry Gross interview with author Tanya Luhrmann, 'When God Talks Back' To The Evangelical Community. My computer is running slow and I have some other deadlines so it may be too much to simplify my thought that these Christians she describes are doing a similar thing with their mind as Buddhist but with the thoughts are credited to God.

The Big View

I googled the Four Noble Truths and found this interesting site, The Big View. I have always been poor at memorization so even though I have heard and read them over and over, I like to reread them. I like this site since it "tries to present information succinctly, so that -hopefully- the gist of each topic is preserved, while not much else is said. It is intended for the reader who wants to get an overview of a philosophical topic in a minimum amount of time."

Sometimes a passionate teacher has a hard time distilling a teaching so I wanted to bookmark this site so I could continue reading. I somewhat share the goal of the site as throughout my life I have been curious in wanting to understand the world. I have always listened to speakers with a feeling that an understanding of truth was just out of my reach. One of my blog entries has a summary at the end describing when my search was more active during and after college. Maybe it has taken almost my entire life since I have not tried that hard. By not being to passionate though, I could observe and listen. 

Teaching Sunday School has been an interesting place to observe and listen to people describe their faith. Most of them are older adults who have been in the church their entire lives. They don't question basic Christian premises but they wonder about some of the big issues. At those times, I look to the class, provide some honest comments without preaching, or just acknowledge that this is a question for many Christians. I also get to hear amazing descriptions about how their faith helped them through some very difficult times. One of the mysteries of life!

Being Pursued by the Buddha

I haven't posted anything in quite awhile even though I have attended two one-day Buddhist retreats. I have also been following the Jesus' wife discussion that has been reacting to a papyrus scrap. As I ponder the differing views of Jesus, I have wondered who created this world where the blood sacrifice of a divine person named Jesus was required. I would like to study the history of Christianity more to understand how this became the dominant view of Jesus' life. But I don't think Jesus saw himself in this way, only that the early Christians made sense of Jesus' death this way and tried to wipe out all other views on the life of Jesus with the help of the Roman Empire.

 This morning I googled "who is the God that needs atonement for sin" and thought the most honest entry just said "you just have to accept it." In some ways, it is a bit embarrassing how much work it is to defend traditional Christianity. I don't think I am being insulting when I say I respect folks that do not question this fundamental teaching. They have found a faith that works for them in this life and I don't think my way is essentially better. This is just where I am in my faith journey. Karen Armstrong is helpful here;

"I say that religion isn't about believing things. It's ethical alchemy. It's about behaving in a way that changes you, that gives you intimations of holiness and sacredness."

The title of today's entry is because I was thinking today about how I have been exposed to Buddhism in different ways my whole life and I finally "gave in." In other words, Buddhist teaching makes sense to me now and “I simply could no longer believe the orthodox version of the story” about Jesus. I looked back to see what I had written in this blog and realized I was thinking about the same thing when I made my last post in May. I just followed some of the links in that post that provide an interesting account of some points in my faith journey that I have written about since I started this blog in 2006.

I have been searching my whole life

Today I realized I was at the point of no return: While being a Christian my whole life, I have always been interested in contemplative practices and have not been afraid to learn about the spiritual life from other faith traditions. Today I realized that I had reached a tipping point where I was finding the truth in listening to dharma talk podcasts and doing some reading on Buddhist teachings more than the Christian Dogma.

I am not rejecting the truth Jesus taught, just much of the early creeds that won approval from the First Council of Nicaea, a council of Christian bishops convened by the Roman Emperor Constantine I in AD 325. According to Wikipedia, "this ecumenical council was the first effort to attain consensus in the church through an assembly representing all of Christendom." Once my parents sent me for the first time, I have always chosen to attend church. I accepted what was taught Lutheran Catechism class and have been somewhat disappointed that many Methodists I attend church with do not have much a rigorous knowledge of the basics of Christianity. As I have written about elsewhere, when I listen to and Bishop Spong and Marcus Borg I feel affirmed in my decision to remain in the Christian church even though I no longer find truth in this sample from Luther's Small Catechism:

7. Who is Christ?
    The Son of God, true God and man.
8. How many Gods are there?
    Only one, but there are three persons: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.
9. What has Christ done for you that you trust in Him?
    He died for me and shed His blood for me on the cross for the forgiveness of sins.
10. Did the Father also die for you?
    He did not. The Father is God only, as is the Holy Spirit; but the Son is both true God and true man. He died for me and shed His blood for me.

I would like to make a complete list and chronology sometime about those writers and teachers that have helped me along my spiritual journey. It is clear that the most influential like Thomas Merton are very comfortable with much of Buddhist practice.

Videos present a Fresh Take on several Old, Old Stories

This morning I found three videos on YouTube that describe my experience and understanding of Christianity. I am not in any community where discussion of these ideas is common so I appreciate finding encouragement where ever I can. I sometimes daydream about this weird scene where I am on my deathbed and the pastor is trying to comfort me. I try to explain that I am fine that Jesus did NOT die for my sins. Since most people would accept the usual platitudes, the pastor is at a loss for words. In this post and throughout my blog, various speakers lament the divide between modern scholarship that Methodist, Lutheran, and other main line pastors learn in seminary and the weekly preaching from the pulpit.

The first two of these videos would be helpful to anyone trying to understand my faith and I have thought about including them in my final instructions. Another thought is just to leave instructions to check out this blog if they are interested in learning more about what Jesus means to me when I am gone. Who knows, maybe I will have the opportunity to "come out" before then.

I stumbled upon the video Time to Talk about Trinity, Monotheism and Panentheism by Dr. Roger Ray of the Community Christian Church of Springfield, MO. My search terms included the holy trinity: Marcus Borg, Karen Armstrong and Bishop John Spong, LOL. I find these three the most helpful in explaining how one can still be a Christian despite having these modern beliefs. Rev. Ray's sermon was great in explaining modern Christianity without rejecting and leaving the church.

We can love and cherish the concepts of trinity, atonement, substitutionary faith without taking them literally. God is too big for any one religion.

But Rev Ray's comment below his video embodies one of my fears of being more bold,

Well, this sermon got me removed as an administrator on The Christian Left site. Where do you go when you are too liberal for the left? 

My next find was a delightful take on John the Baptist and the Occupy Wall Street Movement: Prepare Ye The Way, Andrew William Smith preaching a pre-Advent sermon on Mark 1:1-11 on November 20, 2011. I want to come back an listen next year as Advent approaches.

This last one a Bush-era YouTube Video: "God in the 21st Century: Bishop John Shelby Spong at UO." Spong's phrase, a tribal religion, is more helpful then the false contrast of old testament Jewish religion with Christianity that I grew up with.