Why do we practice zazen? part 2

Part 1

The ability to be fully present yet not controlled by conditions creates a stable mental and emotional foundation even in the midst of turmoil. It is a natural ability each of us has, and the benefit of establishing this greater stability can be quite significant for every aspect of our lives. If we practice it, Dogan tells us, it is realized, or "made real," from the first moment we sit down until beyond the last, so the motivation to practice with consistency arises from the practice itself. page xxxi, A walk with Dogen into our time, preface by Peter Levitt in The essential Dogen: writings of the great zen master

I am listening to The Ordinary Mind Zen School Sydney podcast, Dharma talks by Geoff Dawson. he recommends breath counting rather than to immediately get into shikantaza. He says once you can do that sustained for a fairly decent amount of time then you're ready for the next step. He mentions that if you go into shikantaza immediately you will find that you end up daydreaming which I think is a good description of where I am still at.

Why do we practice zazen?

"We practice because we do not yet know who or what we are. But as a result of many causes, including the suffering we experience and the longing and engendered by that suffering, we aspire to know. That aspiration leads many people to begin the practice of zazen." page xxvi, A walk with Dogen into our time, preface by Peter Levitt in The essential Dogen: writings of the great zen master

As I more and more value the Buddhist practices and philosophy while feeling distant from so much of the Christian theology I have studied throughout my life, I have wanted to somehow record a coherent statement on what all this means. The word aspiration has been coming up lately and may well and embody the reason I have attended church from a young age and done so much study of religion. I have encountered gems along the way but have never felt so comfortable as I do now. It is strange because I don't really have anyone to talk with it about. So many of our friends are involved Christians and I don't want to sound like I am belittling their faith as I explained what I have found for myself.

"After all, most of us were raised with the idea inherited from our various religious traditions that originally we are not at one with Oneness, that from the moment of conception we live at a distance from the source of life. Except for the more mystical orientation within these traditions that speaks of imanence, divinity is seen as solely transcendent and, thereby, is considered radically other from human beings."

Yes, I have been attracted to the mystical traditions but never adopted a discipline or a worldview. The Abrahamic traditions try to have it both ways casting imanence as a characteristic of the transcendent God. It took three centuries for the church fathers to get a coherent theology out of the Jewish and Christian scriptures. Hardly anyone reads or understands that theology so most Christians just continue to read the scriptures without much understanding, singing the hymns, and inspired by the liturgy. 

Stopping heresy and book banning were then instituted to deal with other strains of the story of Jesus. "In his introduction to The Nag Hammadi Library, James Robinson suggests that these codices may have belonged to a nearby monastery and were buried after Saint Athanasius condemned the use of non-canonical books..."

So along with many mentors: Thomas Merton, those monks who buried the codices, Bishop Spong, and many others, I still consider myself a Christian though outside the orthodoxy. I also don't consider myself an atheist because I'm not sure what the difference is between believing in a mysterious God that acts in mysterious ways and just seeing the universe as it really is. Buddha did not see such speculation as useful and indeed is a distraction.

Part 2

Also see: Hearsay and Tradition September 23, 2019 

https://podcasts.google.com/?feed=aHR0cHM6Ly93d3cubnByLm9yZy90ZW1wbGF0ZXMvcnNzL3BvZGNhc3QucGhwP2lkPTUxMDA1MQ&episode=YWEzZGE3MDMtNGZjOC00YmVmLTkyMWEtYTczNzZhMDUwYzNj

Confidence

I am enjoying using Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind: informal talks on Zen meditation and practice by Shunryu Suzuki as a morning devotion. The chapters are short enough to read in a short sitting and have been carefully grouped and arranged by the editors. 

A lot of Christian hymns speak of confidence but as I have described in other posts, I do not have confidence in the orthodox Christian beliefs. I lived with that confidence throughout my life but although I love Jesus, I think we should follow the way he showed us but not worship him. 

More and more though I am gaining confidence in myself and the journey I am on. "In the Zen tradition, it's said a student must have great faith, great doubt, and great determination." I attended a day-long retreat last Saturday and that is what struck me at the end of the day. The leader gave a summary that I am confident is true and I'm looking forward to being able to give a similar summary from memory (and experience).

I am also beginning to experience what Suzuki described in the entry, To Polish a Tile. When I am washing the dishes, I try to just wash the dishes. As I practice sitting more regularly I also want all my activities to be zazen as described in this entry. "What is true zazen? When you become you! When you are you then no matter what you do, that is zazen. Even though you are in bed, you may not be you most of the time. Even though you are sitting in the zendo, I wonder whether you are you in the true sense." 

I love the simplicity in Buddhism of just beginning again. When your mind wanders, just begin again. Christianity seems laborious with repentance and confession. It just seemed so simple, just begin again.