Compassionate view rather than anger - an old Post out of order

I was thinking about my anger towards a certain in-law couple that will be visiting soon. As I read Unmasking Anger by Alan Reder, I liked the idea of viewing them with compassion rather than righteous anger over a particular situation with another family member. In this article, he is quoting

Ven. Thubten Chodron, an American-born Buddhist nun and author of Working with Anger (Snow Lion, 2001), (who) finds ... insights into anger from traditional Tibetan Buddhist sources.

. . .

Chodron also thinks that compassion is a far better approach to social action than anger. A compassionate mind looks at a situation more broadly, seeking a solution that's acceptable to everybody.

. . .

To illustrate ..., Chodron points to the explosive tensions between the Israelis and Palestinians, a tragedy she finds especially painful because she was born Jewish. The anger each side feels stems largely, she says, from being so obsessed with the insults and injuries to their own people that they forget human concerns on the other side. "To correct injustice and harm, you have to take into consideration the feelings and needs of everyone in the situation," she says.

Chodron's unspoken implication: What holds for Middle Eastern political tensions also holds for individuals everywhere. The havoc anger wreaks can make taming this terrible force look almost impossible. Yet the task is paradoxically simple if we remember our cues: Take the compassionate view of things. Wait out the biochemical surge. Ride the wave.

Discovering Karen Armstrong

I discovered Karen Armstrong today. (May 19, 2006) She was interviewed on To The Best of our Knowledge


As I explored, I found this interview at Powell's Books. Two sections I found quite inspiring.

Compassion, the meaning of compassion — that comes up a lot. And, "What is the role of belief in faith? Do you believe in God?" I point out that that's a very Christian question, a very Western, modern question. It's not actually the proper question, but nevertheless it's what people want to know. For them, that is the question.

Dave: And what is the question that you prefer to ask instead?

Armstrong: I say that religion isn't about believing things. It's ethical alchemy. It's about behaving in a way that changes you, that gives you intimations of holiness and sacredness.

People have such clear ideas of what God is — you know: creator, father, personality watching over me. It's not what I believe in, even though I like to use the word sometimes. So people will ask, "Is traditional faith wrong?" And I say, "No." It doesn't really matter what you believe as long as it leads you to practical compassion. If your belief in a traditional God makes you come out imbued with a desire to feel with your fellow human beings, to make a place for them in your heart, to work to end suffering in the world, then it's good. Nobody has the last word on God, whether they're conservative or liberals.

and

Dave: What do you want readers to take away from your books? Is there one thing more than others?

Armstrong: The main thing I want them to get is this idea of compassion. That's what we need now.

Dave: That everything boils down to the Golden Rule.

Armstrong: I'm convinced of it. It's in all the traditions, ....

All the world religions developed in violent societies like our own. All of them came from societies where civilization seemed on the point of collapsing under the weight of aggression and violence. Where old values were going out, no new ones were coming to take their place. The first impulse in many of these religions was a revulsion from violence. That's what we need now, to get back to some of that.

See also:

Karen Armstrong Writes 'Biography' of the Bible

The age of the spirit

What to make of Suffering

Videos present a Fresh Take on several Old, Old Stories

Belief and teaching

Equating 'faith' with 'belief

Bumping into Zen, while waiting for God

Four Distinct Stages of Life

After the Laundry, the Laundry By Judith Hanson Lasater

In India, the home of yoga, there is a traditional Hindu social model that underscores the change we continuously experience. Called the Ashramas, or Stages of Life, it defines four distinct periods in life, during which people can and should do certain things. The first, brahmacharya (brahmic conduct), is the student stage, during which one learns about oneself and the world; the second, grihastha (householder), is the stage of family and societal obligations. The last two stages focus on renunciation. During the third, vanaprastha (forest dweller), one is freer to begin a contemplative life. And during stage four, samnyasa (renunciation), one goes deeper, surrendering all worldly things and living as a simple mendicant.

I was reading this article today. I was amazed when I got to this section because I was thinking the same thing about my life in the past few days. See how the stages correspond.

As a young child, I was curious and enjoyed reading, I could wonder through the library and marvel at all that these books represented. The student stage for me lasted beyond college. I read a lot when I was working construction in Illinois, mentored under a comtemplative peace activist pastor by living with him and his family while helping to rebuild a lot cabin in Appalachia, and also studied non-violence for two years in a social justice oriented community.

I then got married, more involved in learning for advancement in my job, and then eventually a father. I even became the congregational president of our protestant church.

Four years ago at 50, I started a regular yoga practice. I had the feeling that I was over the hump at my job and headed towards retirement. I didn't have to worry about advance or more training at my job. I have still continued to learn about areas in my profession but I think this blog demonstrates where my interest is. I've always wanted to literally be a "forest dweller" but know I am doing it figuratively.

I recently had a fantasy of getting rid of most of my belongings after retirement. When my daughter would come to visit, I would be doing yoga in an almost bare house. I doubt if that would reconcile with my spouse's vision but, like I said, this vision was just day dreaming.