In our heated reactions, the investigative, curious mode wasn't there. Instead of an observant curiosity, we are caught in a loop of obsession. We don't just observe our thoughts about the boss; instead, we believe that there's some validity in spinning off into our angry thoughts for hours on end, instead of seeing them for what they are, sensing the bodily contractions that grow out of them, and as much as we can, returning to doing something about the work problem.
Sitting is exactly that: we're investigating our life. But when we get lost in our self-centered trains of thought, we're not investigating anymore, we're thinking about how bad it all is, or we're blaming somebody else, or we're blaming ourself.
Curiosity and Obsession page 196 Nothing Special by Charlotte Joko Beck
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If we're truly just noticing our obsessions and aren't caught in them, they tend to fade and die. We usually pursue our loops because we really want to get back into our self-centered thinking. The minute we simply observe our thinking, that self-centered attachment is severed, and the loop loses its fuel. We don't have to worry about endless noticing of thoughts. When we begin to sit, our obsessive thoughts or loops have a lot of energy, but that momentum dissipates as we sit for longer periods. More and more, our thoughts die down, and we are simply with our bodily sensations, with our life as it is.
Curiosity and Obsession page 198 Nothing Special by Charlotte Joko Beck
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