Discernment in Solitude

The Spirit works deep within us, so deeply that we cannot always identify its presence. The effect of God's spirit is deeper than our thoughts and emotions. That is why setting aside a special time and place for prayer is so important. Often we do not feel like praying and our minds are distracted. The lack of motivation and difficulty focusing make us think that our prayer time is useless and wasted time. Still, it is very important to remain faithful to these times and simply stick with our promise to be with God, even if nothing in our minds, hearts, or bodies wants to be there. Simple faithfulness in prayer gives the Spirit of God a real chance to work in us, to help us be renewed in God's hands and be conformed to God's will. During these sacred times and places, we can be touched in deep, hidden, and tender places. We can become more fully aware of the divine presence and more open to God's guidance as we are led to new places of love. (Fr. Henri Nouwen)

I often think about an "in-between feeling" I have with Christianity and Buddhism. For a long time, I have enjoyed Henri Nouwen's books and often felt a deep affinity with a passage like the one above. I took special note in the assurance;"...that we cannot always identify [God's spirit's] presence." More and more though, I seem to prefer the Buddhist teachings that don't rely on God. What he says appears to be a very valuable spiritual practice but the "mystery" of God can be applied to anything.

I cringe when the same friend that posted the Nouwen quote "likes" a website such as "God understands our prayers even when we can't find the words to say them. Press Like if you agree! =)" on Facebook. "The God of the Gaps" has been replaced with a God of the cute kids, miraculous healings, and other things so amazing they must be of God. When the miracle doesn't happen, we are supposed to be comforted by this God we don't understand or worse, "God has a purpose" in our tragedy. Though there are some similarities, Buddhist thought seems to do a better job. I don't want to take this away from people for whom it works, I just can't see it for myself. I sometimes daydream about trying not to argue with someone who at my deathbed, is trying to comfort me with their understanding of God.

I don't have time today but this gets really scary when "God is by best friend."